Can you be an Alpha if you’re not a big earner or powerful out in the working world? Lily, a physician and a mother of two, works between fifteen and twenty hours a week to her husband’s seventy-hours-plus. I don’t wear my Alpha on my sleeve.” Like Lily, many strong Betas carve out a niche for themselves within a relationship; they may control the finances or decisions about the children, for example.
A new ad campaign for shaving cream suggests men “man up,” a playful poke both at traditional notions of manhood and at today’s “softer” guy.
Today’s Beta guy is transformed and more complicated than the sensitive guy from the 80s and 90s. Many Alpha women have a sexual Achilles heel: Openly sexual as they are, they still expect the man to take the lead in bed, which gets in the way of their falling for the tender lover, the Beta male.
Beta males are—or can be—the best lovers because they want to get off too.
With men, we tend to “split”—Alpha men are sexy, Beta men are “weak.” Forget that!
Not every man is an egotistical Alpha player or an Omega loser desultorily plucking his guitar on an old futon in his mom’s basement.
Alpha players are alive and well—and enabled by technology (their best friend! But most of the men I see in my therapy practice—hailing from Wall Street to the suburbs— seek equal, balanced relationships: A 2010 Pew poll found that 62 percent of both men and women believe that the best marriage depends upon a true partnership—in other words, that ever-desirable, ever-elusive state of nirvana we call equality.
A father may be the Pied Piper of the playground set and know the politics of the kids’ PTA far better than the working wife does.
A magazine cartoon features two Old West-style gunslinger hombres with their infants in Baby Bjorns standing in a bar negotiating for a play date.
Far more important is the degree of each that you have in your personality.