We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.This is not a game to us, nor is it something we can ignore.
One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.
The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!
Instead, remember that black women, like all people, have varying interests, backgrounds, and obstacles that they face daily.
Try to think of a black woman as an individual, and not as the chosen speaker for a whole diverse group.
These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.
You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.More often than not we are looked over for jobs, we do not receive adequate education or medical care, and we are imprisoned at much higher rates than our white counterparts all because blackness is rarely associated with positivity. Often, someone from a marginalized group is expected to be the authority on that group’s culture, but that’s an unreasonable expectation.I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.