Being exposed to different experiences of people from different backgrounds through film, TV and other forms of media challenges our own biases and stereotypes we may have.Sure, stereotypes exist for a reason, and there may be some truth to them. Reducing large groups of people and dismissing their individuality limits what should be an enjoyable dating experience.
That is, for whatever reasons we don't interact with certain groups offline, we also repeat this behaviour online — even though the barriers that exist in the offline aren't there online.
And it's this collective behaviour that sees repeated outcomes for certain groups that constitutes as racist behaviour.
This particular exchange, though, was slightly different to the usual ones.
My friend was in the early stages of a chat with a man she'd matched with and he straight away asked about her ethnicity — projecting his assumptions of her by focusing on her race.
When we don't acknowledge racism in our communities, we can't be too surprised to see its manifestations in our dating lives, too.
There is good news, though — many of the experts I spoke to for Date My Race talked about how we have been socialised to be attracted to certain groups, whether it's within our own race or outside of it.
Judice said it’s common for black women to not consider dating white men for a few reasons, including historical tensions and a lack of positive black female representation in the media. where black women have been touted as the most desirable romantic partners? “Generally speaking, the idolized version of an American beauty is a white woman who is thin and blonde and blue-eyed.” And then there’s the story of Denise and Todd, a married couple whose marriage survived despite having different socioeconomic backgrounds and difficulties with families echoing harmful stereotypes.
Judice said she focused on relationships with white men because of history.
I made a documentary about the role race plays in online dating, Date My Race, a year ago.