And in the midst of all this, you keep getting the intense urge to text them about it, because they were always the one who would wipe away your tears.It’s like reliving the break-up over and over again.Recently, my social media feed was filled with a light-blue line drawing of a woman riding a crane over the ocean, as readers across the globe heaped praise on an essay by novelist CJ Hauser.
We would move to Philadelphia together, our fingers entwined, looking at apartments together, and talking about how lovely it would be to have one of them to ourselves. Though it was a miserable affair, it was very obvious what needed to happen. I cared about him, and he was one of my best friends.
It sounds ridiculous, but it certainly didn’t feel like it at the time. But outside of college, I saw our relationship in an entirely different light. I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, I thought. He was a jerk, he treated me badly, we broke up, I moved on, and that was that. But I knew that romantically, we couldn’t be together anymore.
I found myself having to try harder and harder to connect with him, to be on the same wavelength. I kept thinking that it was a phase, or a hiccup, or a post-graduation relationship rut. Suddenly, I couldn’t see us ever truly connecting in the real world. That realization made my heart sink into the depths of my stomach. There’s a vast misconception in this world, thanks to the good ol’ romantic comedy industry, that those who do the dumping are cold, heartless, and ready to run around and make out with anything that moves as soon as they kick their SO to the curb. But often—at least, for me—nothing could be farther from the truth.
There was a distance between us, a chasm that was widening so rapidly that I was afraid I’d be swallowed up forever. I had a lot of feelings and thoughts that didn’t seem to make any sense to me whatsoever.
In other words, you can go on dates and tell yourself that one relationship will stick, but if you are not fully over an…
No matter how often you remind yourself not to take dating too personally, that’s especially difficult when a new relationship you thought had real potential, suddenly dies.In fact, you feel so many different levels of pain that you won’t know which ones to process first.You feel like a criminal, because it feels like you’re stabbing your best friend and partner in the back after so many years of promises.It reminded me that breaking away from the familiar can be scary, but delving into the unfamiliar can be nothing short of exhilarating.After a few weeks of pure torture, I did end my relationship with Joe. But it’s necessary in order to move on to a happier stage of life.Sometimes, the right decision is the most difficult. I already fixed what I could simply by ending a broken relationship.