I know having a partner — the right partner — would be wonderful for the both of us. To focus on something other than what’s wrong with me, but rather the good that’s within me and what I can do with it.There have been points where I’ve wondered if anyone love me. One awkward part of having an invisible illness is that, looking at me, you cannot tell I have two forms of arthritis.
In truth, I was never ready to settle down even though that was my eventual goal.
I’d even mistakenly tried to rush it a few times — what I thought I needed.
But what I needed was to accept myself first, and that was proving difficult.
Depression and my own insecurities kept getting in the way of me doing the one thing I needed to do before I could ever settle down: to love and accept myself.
A young mother to a toddler and dating a musician in a heavy metal band, I didn’t even know someone my age could get arthritis, let alone what the disease was like to live with.Getting myself dolled up for a date brings even more challenges.Even on a low-pain day, trying on outfits to find something that is both comfortable and looks good allows that pesky fatigue to creep its way in — meaning that I have to worry about having enough energy for the date itself!My new strength, which I thank arthritis for helping me discover, doesn’t mean I am not still lonely and that I don’t desire a partner.I just have to accept that dating will more than likely be a little rocky for me.“I have a dream to be married, have children, and establish a stable family.