Don't beat yourself up about your feelings, they are understandable.
Most people would feel like running away in your situation.
But I can't help thinking of the oath you took to stay together in good days and in bad, in sickness and in health.
Now you are over the immediate shock and aftermath of your DH becomong disabled, I think the two of you need to have a joint look at your relationship.
You seem worried about being judged, but your feelings sound very human and understandable to me.
Good luck You say that your DH has come to terms with the accident and his disability but it sounds like that maybe you haven't?
Really sorry you had this shock - it must have been terrible, for you both.
I think you both need to talk and hopefully get some help with your problems. He was amazing and even took trips to New York in his wheelchair because he refused to be beaten. You probably need to have a real discussion about how you are feeling..will be tough but he will sense you are feeling that way anyway.
Then maybe get in contact with others in your position. Plus, I wonder if you could deal with the daily guilt if you did leave....
I think it would destroy me, but I would also have the same feelings as you. Talking to as many people in your situation and a therapist will really help you get your thoughts straight. You've obviously been through so much and been really strong helping him go through the initial adjustment and the depression that accompanies it.
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It might help you to get some proper RL help - not practical help but help dealing with and understanding your emotions.