“They do this because they feel better and smarter than everyone else, and also because it helps them create an appearance of being self-assured.” Clinical psychologist Dr.
Angela Grace, Ph D, MEd, BFA, BEd, adds that narcissists will often exaggerate their accomplishments and embellish their talents in these stories in order to gain adoration from others.
Two things people with high self-confidence do not do,” Peykar says.
As Weiler explains it, “Narcissists punish everyone around them for their lack of self-confidence.” Lack of empathy, or the ability to feel how another person is feeling, is one of hallmark characteristics of a narcissist, Walfish says.
Dig deeper into their connections and you may notice that they only have casual acquaintances, buddies they trash-talk, and nemeses.
As a result, they might lash out when you want to hang out with yours. Suddenly, everything you do, from what you wear and eat to who you hang out with and what you watch on TV, is a problem for them.
“Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, validating, understood, or accepted because they don’t grasp the concept of feelings,” she says.
Translation: They don’t emotion that belongs to others.
They might claim that you don’t spend enough time with them, make you feel guilty for spending time with your friends, or berate you for the types of friends you have. “They’ll put you down, call you names, hit you with hurtful one-liners, and make jokes that aren’t quite funny,” Peykar says.
“Their goal is to lower other’s self-esteem so that they can increase their own, because it makes them feel powerful.”What’s more, reacting to what they say only reinforces their behavior. That’s because it shows them that they have the power to affect another’s emotional state.
“Narcissists use other people — people who are typically highly empathic — to supply their sense of self-worth, and make them feel powerful.
But because of their low self-esteem, their egos can be slighted very easily, which increases their need for compliments,” adds Shirin Peykar, LMFT.
People with NPD will try to manufacture superficial connections early on in a relationship.