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As appealing as it began to sound, I was still skeptical that LAT is the cure-all for relationship ennui.

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LAT couples are fully committed, even married, but they specifically choose While there hasn't been a ton of research on this phenomenon in the United States, the U. Census Bureau reports that the number of spouses whose partner is absent from the household has doubled to 3.6 million since 1991.

Research in Europe and Canada suggests that LAT is common among younger people, for reasons that range from wanting more autonomy to just liking their own place and choosing to keep it.

“When I was in New York, I was overworked and not fully present.

Now we have better quality time.”Is LAT a forever arrangement? After all, how realistic is it that you'd keep separate places if you start a family?

In the end, compromising on what we wanted just to share space made us feel like we'd stopped growing as individuals.

Once we broke up, I wondered if I'd ever reconcile my need for serious alone time with the fact that being with someone means, like, being colleague) Annie Fox revealed that she and her husband live in different apartments.Newman has fielded questions from strangers who have assumed she and her husband were on the rocks.“I would get concerned phone calls from parents [at my kids' school] who decided something awful was about to happen and one of us was going to have a breakdown in the middle of the school auction,” she says. “People who essentially watched us grow up can, in one breath, testify to our ability to communicate and love each other despite distance,” she says.“If I'm just lonely and mopey and need someone, I'm going to have to pick up the phone and say it,” says Fox.“I can't just slam dishes while I'm cooking dinner and hope that someone notices. ”When Deena Chanowitz, 35, made the decision to attend medical school in Vermont, nearly 300 miles from her husband in New York City, she realized that she wanted to start the next chapter of her life on her own.“For some, LAT is a way to play to the strengths of the relationship without succumbing to its weaknesses,” says Finkel.

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