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Flirting is an integral part of finding the relationship you really want. Love coach Persia Lawson explains how to flirt According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of ‘flirt’ is to ‘behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.’ Over the years, countless articles, books and blog posts have been written on how to flirt.

Well, quite simply, because being a good flirt is often the first step in attracting the partner and relationship you really want.

If you ask questions, it’s logical that you should listen to the answer.

I’ve been guilty of talking about myself far too much in conversations.

And I’ve certainly been on dates where the person opposite me exhibited the same unpleasant trait.

We live in a world that’s increasingly focused on the individual, which is probably why Time magazine dubbed millennials the ‘me, me, me generation.’ A few years ago, the National Institute of Health reported that the incidence of narcissistic personality disorder is nearly three times as high for people in their 20s as it is for the generation that’s now 65 or older. Look around in your average coffee shop and you’ll see a dozen or so young people uploading pouty selfies or snaps of their matcha lattes to Instagram.

As technology has encouraged us to become the stars and celebrities of our own lives, we seem to have grown less generous in our interactions with others.

There’s nothing more irritating than when the person you’re talking to isn’t really listening to you, but looking for a cue to start talking about themselves again.

When you ask your date a question, listen to the answer.

Maybe even ask another question to get them to expand more.

This demonstrates that you’re an interested and generous person to converse with, and these days, that’s a pretty radical statement.

We might even imagine ourselves walking down the aisle with them and starting a family.

The problem is that it’s just so damn obvious when our mind runs away with us like this – not to mention unattractive.

Honesty and vulnerability is incredibly sexy because it shows you’re an empowered person who’s not afraid to share the truth of who you really are, rather than simply presenting an idealised, ‘perfect’ version of yourself. Too many of us make the mistake of projecting what we want to happen as a result of our flirting, rather than staying open and present to the experience itself.

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