😉There’s a lot of pressure on teens and preteens to start dating and become sexually active. The “right” time is what’s right for your individual child, not what might be right for anyone else.
Friday night football games and tons of other teenage social activities. Why did he think having a girlfriend was some prerequisite for high school social success? And I’m well aware he could fall head over heels at any time. In today’s world, there’s a lot of mixed messages for our boys (and the girls too) about dating, intimacy and sex.
But then one day, he caught me off guard when he said, “Well, of course, when I get a girlfriend.……”I seriously have no idea what he said after the word girlfriend. Luckily after the first week, the hype died down and I felt quite a bit better when he told me that he and several of his friends had decided they weren’t going to have girlfriends this first year. It can be confusing and we want our boys to know how to treat a girl, but we also want to make sure he is treated well too and that his heart is protected.
(He’ll learn more about the person, too; he’ll experience their pauses and energy in a more organic, less scripted way.)Going on a “real date” has an even bigger impact.
When most dating involves “hanging out,” often with a group, it means a lot to arrange an actual outing where your son picks someone up and brings them home.
Tell him the truth: that many people don’t start dating until late high school or beyond.
Make sure he knows that even people who are “late bloomers” in the dating arena end up having great relationships in their adult lives.
It’s much more important that he does what’s right for him than that he does it at some predetermined age.
Dating is learning about a person and practicing being in a relationship.
Dating creates a special kind of intimacy (whether or not things get physical).