I have worked hard for the things I've wanted to make of myself, and being able to make snap decisions that I knew wouldn't drastically affect another person has been crucial to every little success.And as archaic as this sounds, I can't date people I don't see myself marrying. I'm just simply not attracted to people I don't see a future with, and right now I'm at a place in my life where I'm not ready to commit to anyone anyway.
It was a sign, to me, that maybe I wanted to give myself a little more time to grow up before putting myself in that position again.
So yeah, even though every now and then I'll dip a toe into the dating pool, I'm not a fan of forcing things.
Only now, when I sit down to count it out, so I realize that I've been single for three years – because I've never once questioned myself about it.
I've had bigger priorities, and in retrospect, looking back at all the weird places my life has taken me in the past few years, I can't imagine the strain of trying to keep something up with someone without limiting my options.
If I happen to meet someone there, then it will be a lucky coincidence, not because I sat through the world's most boring book club to make eyes at someone. My life isn't going to be somehow less worthwhile if I don't find one of them. A guy I went on a date once in high school called me the "Ice Bitch" when I declined to kiss him on the first date (he kissed me anyway, so let me take this opportunity to say eight years after the fact: you're a tool, sir).
I'm sorry about your great-aunt who never settled down and never had kids and regretted it. I don't need a man to do any of the things I want out of life, having kids included. I'm aware that all this keeping to myself is not necessarily typical of people my age, especially when I have no religious reasons or personal beliefs stopping me from dating.
I had one serious relationship in college, and broke it off when it started to look like we were going to change our plans to be near each other after graduation.
It seemed stupid to limit ourselves when we were so young.
Really, I could not be happier for my friends who have found the person they belong with.
But I've never felt like I was on the outside looking in.
When I meet someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I want to already be the person I set out to be, or at least have a much clearer vision of how to get there, and I have no desire in wasting my time or other people's time along the way.