And lest you think we’re a small subculture of free-love weirdos, research over the last several years estimates that 4-5 percent of relationships in the U. Many people feel that having a relationship or sex with only one person for an indefinite amount of time is too difficult and unnatural. For most of my life I was a serial monogamist and constantly cheating.
When I really stop to think about it, I know that there’s very little chance that he’s seeing anyone who is going to be better for him than I am.
We’ve removed the ownership that can come with a conventional relationship.
The great thing is, once you’ve decided that you can include other people or lovers into your relationship, you can make it whatever you want.
It's up to the couple to decide what levels of involvement with secondary partners feels comfortable.
I have a good friend who lives apart from her boyfriend; she has several regular male and female lovers, while he travels the world, finding spontaneous sexual encounters along the way.
For another married couple I know, non-monogamy means one partner does things with lovers that his husband doesn't really enjoy doing, while the husband opts for trysts that last 25 minutes, tops.
But society told me I had to be with one person at a time, with the goal of choosing one person forever. After a really great, long-term, successfully monogamous relationship ended, I was suddenly single in my late twenties and enjoying the freedom and the variety. Adam was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept it strictly physical, with those boundaries clearly defined throughout, spending time together was becoming the highlight.
I would often fall into a cycle of trying to make that work but eventually letting temptation get the best of me, and failing both parties of the relationship; especially my partner. Eventually, the inevitable conversation came up naturally about what we were, and what we could be.
And of course, let each other know when we'll be seeing someone else.