From steamy sexy times in The Witcher 3, space rumpy-pumpy in Mass Effect: Andromeda, to kinky bedroom antics in Fallout 4, these are the sexiest games on PC. The fight does not end there, as soon you find yourself locked in conflict with an Underpants Warlock on the bed, dodging limbs and swinging appendages with graphic quick time events. The Mass Effect series is the only reason you are ever likely to use the word ‘romanceable’ – at least until that inevitably becomes the name of a problematic dating app made in Silicon Valley.
They start going at it on their bed while you fight off a band of underwear-stealing gnomes on the opposite dresser – because South Park.
Videogame bonking may not be particularly highbrow, with the act often portrayed as the equivalent of knocking a Barbie and Ken together, but hey, points for effort.
um, shall we say, ‘stimulated’, the following games all have copious amounts of virtual intercourse.
Bethesda are understated in their depiction of the deed, if only for fear of having to animate all the wobbly bits without somebody’s crucial parts sticking in the terrain and elongating to span the gap between Sanctuary and the Glowing Sea (incidentally the same technique employed by the medical practitioners who send enthusiastic emails to young men of low self-esteem).
True to life, sex in Fallout 4 is contingent upon a series of regular and increasingly challenging charisma tests.
One more time, just for the Google search ranking: ‘romanceable’.
Over the past decade, Bio Ware’s other RPGs have also become synonymous with sex.
What do you do after waking up in an unfamiliar room with a foggy head and a naked stranger sleeping beside you?
One Night Stand is an indie sex game that explores the awkward aftermath of a drunken night of passion.
Once you familiarise yourself with the many Fallout 4 bugs, crashes and fixes that can interrupt your virtual coitus, and should you pass through the necessary checks and balances that prevent sex from happening to insufficiently persuasive 200-year-old widowers, you will be treated to a fade to black and a night on one of the stained mattresses favoured by the denizens of the game’s Commonwealth.
The experience can be altered substantially if you know the right Fallout 4 mods.
The Witcher 3 was the best game of 2015 and has sex all up in it, no matter how you might feel about that.