If he was 13 instead of 17, I’d say you offer counsel, regardless, but at this age, you’re better off waiting for him to come to you.
If he doesn’t want your opinion, offering it may cause more problems.
You may disagree with me and that’s your prerogative.
” and then landed a stinging slap on his cheek and stormed off.
Needless to say, he has much to learn about the opposite sex, and I teased him that he may get a few more slaps from the ladies until he learns what it means to be a gentleman.
Real apologies take responsibility for the damage inflicted, express true regret, and propose a way forward. Much more often, we get what my family refers to as the “non-apology apology,” and it’s easy to spot, because it contains the word “but” and/or a condescending “you.” Real apology: I am so sorry that I misunderstood how important this was to you. If you’re willing to give me another chance, I’d like to make it up to you.
Non-apology apology: I’m sorry you felt hurt but it’s not a big deal and I don’t know what you want from me.
Remind him, too, that the goal in any conversation like this is to achieve understanding, not to be “right.” No one wins when it’s about being right—in a relationship the goal is to understand one another.
I’m of the belief that apologies are something of a lost art in today’s society.My guess is that your son doesn’t see birthdays as that big of a deal, whereas his girlfriend sees them as a very big deal.Bottom line, she thinks he’s being thoughtless and he thinks she’s overreacting, but communication is how any situation like this gets resolved.Again, you may disagree, and I know in different cultures this may be viewed differently, but if this was my child?I’d be having a conversation about how no one has the right to hit him, full stop.So, for example, in this particular scenario, I think it’s perfectly valid for your son to tell his girlfriend something along the lines of “I don’t always just know what you want, and it feels a little bit like you get angry when I don’t, instead of telling me what you’d like me to do differently.