In July, my friend Bekah (not her real name) calls to announce her engagement. The last I heard, she was dating a guy named Mike, whom she’d met on the online dating site She sent another picture, the two of them in motorcycle jackets, posed in front of an –style bike. Before Mike, Bekah dated a doctor she met on e Harmony. After doing an internet search of the doc, Bekah learned that a local magazine had named him one of her city’s most eligible bachelors. It was from a 23-year-old named Chris (not his real name), who lived in Corona, California. They soon exchanged phone numbers and began to speak daily.
A month later, on the final day of her sophomore year in college, she dropped out of school and caught a flight to California in order to be closer to Chris. When I flew to California, it was my first time on an airplane.
I didn’t tell my parents I was moving until the day I left.
“Chris was happy with my online picture and with the way I planned to look, but never with the way I really was.” Rebecca admits that she was naive. It was the first time I had been in love..first kiss.” She sighs. He took me to Benihana on our first date, and to a movie at Mission Valley AMC afterward.” She liked him immediately. When she discovered, five months later, that he was cheating on her with his high-school sweetheart, Rebecca broke up with him.
“He was my first.” After six months, Rebecca moved back to Alabama to live with her parents. But she soon grew bored and returned to California. She signed up for dating accounts with Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish. “Two months ago, he married the girl he cheated on me with.” She shrugs. He said his rent was $600 a month and that his complex was ghetto. Whenever she tried to make face-to-face plans, he came up with excuses about why he couldn’t meet her. I am surprised at the ease with which she accepts this.
She has already purchased her wedding gown and booked a reception hall. “I never thought I would actually meet someone I’d want to marry from one of these sites.” Twenty-two-year-old Rebecca (not her real name) meets me at Cosmos Coffee Café in La Mesa on a Wednesday night.
In eight months, Bekah and Christian are getting married.
My dad said, ‘If this guy wants to marry you, he’ll come here.’ I didn’t tell my parents that we met through a dating site till later. He said, ‘Whoa, whoa, you haven’t even met this man. ’ They didn’t understand.” In the end, Chris flew to Rebecca’s parents’ home for a five-day visit.
Rebecca was convinced he was the man with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life.
He almost cried when I said no.” Rebecca shows me her phone. “It takes me maybe 30 minutes on any given night to find a guy to go out with. Someone always gets back to me.” Rebecca has never gone out with anyone outside of internet dating. My 40-year-old coworker says she wishes she did what I am doing now when she was my age.” “The problem with online dating in this town is that we live in Man Diego.