And isn’t that—respect, a willingness to learn, an openness to faith—really what we, as Jews, want in our partners?

” Lived it “I’ve lived with two non-Jewish partners, and those were the most observant times in my life. In contrast, I was once engaged to a Chabad woman whose father cut it off because I wouldn’t become observant enough. We’re all so many things and can connect with others on so many different planes that it’s hard for me to say dating Jews or non-Jews has had any unique effect.

However, if that can be done in a thoughtful way with a partner who is not Jewish, I am open to that.


For me, I’d rather date someone open to my beliefs and respectful of my traditions than someone who isn’t.

My Jewish partners have been less educated and less willing to learn about my Jewish practices and beliefs than my non-Jewish partners.

Only dating Jews feels too limiting to me and even potentially racist—which is not to erase the existence of Jews of color, but more to say that in Boston the majority of the Jewish community is white/Ashkenazi.

All I really need is for my partner to respect that my Jewish identity is important to me and be willing to learn about it.

Also, when it comes to non-Jews, I could see myself with someone who is not white/not Jewish more than a white non-Jew.

I just feel like a woman of color would be more likely to understand me.

On the other hand, I am so rarely attracted to anyone that when I am, I owe it to myself to see where it leads.

Only time will tell once I’m in a serious relationship how I feel about the religion aspect, but so far it’s a tertiary concern behind personality and attraction.” Too limiting “I’ve dated Jews and non-Jews.

Saying that love is not legitimate unless it is with a Jew felt the same as saying love is not legitimate unless between a man and a woman. I also know very active Jewish people from intermarried families, so ‘keeping the kids Jewish’ is not a convincing reason to date only Jews.


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