In my vows, I explicitly stated that the legalization of “gay” marriage informed my decision to tie the knot.
Our officiator used a quote from about the nature of true love. Even though the groom was a straight ally, our wedding was pretty gay.
So let’s get one thing straight (since I’m not): bisexuals do not live a life of endless threesomes, worshipped as the god of unicorns.
In fact, my entire coming-out experience has been proof that bisexuals may never get the rainbow cupcakes or “You’re so brave” hugs no matter how progressive our friends claim to be.
He doesn’t love that I do this in front of his family, but he accepts it.
I may be married, but my bisexuality doesn’t go away.
An LGBT community center or group may be able to refer you to one of these providers.
Don’t give up – find the respectful care you deserve!
We both do what we can to contribute to bisexual visibility. These days, I’m more forceful about asserting my identity than I was as a teenager.
When one of his coworkers told their friend group she was joining an LGBTQ lunch group to make friends, he said, “I should introduce you to my wife. With San Francisco Pride about to happen this weekend, I’ve been plotting how to escape bi-erasure. In my day-to-day life, people assume I’m straight unless I take the time to say, “I’m here, and I’m queer.” Sometimes I start to think I’ve been through enough already and question my commitment to constantly re-exiting the closet.
I remind myself that as long as bisexuals, our partners and our allies don’t challenge assumptions that we’re gay or straight, kids like my high school self are going to continue being told they’ll eventually pick a team.
I have fought too hard to make peace with my identity to sit back, relax and contribute to bisexual erasure. This year at Pride, I’m painting the word “queer” on my cleavage and bringing a giant “bisexual” flag instead of the standard-issue rainbow.
I joined my first LGBTQ community support group when I was 15, even though I was not yet out.