There’s something especially comforting about hugs. I used to think that the only good kinds of hugs were from others, either human or animal, but I’ve found that hugging body pillows and especially hugging myself can have fabulously calming and comforting results too.
This can cause memories to be skewed or altered to fill some longing you have about your ex or the time you spent together.
When you share your feelings with someone you trust, you have the opportunity to hear back another person’s perspective on the event.
And I don’t mean that you have to hire a therapist or coach (although they do serve their place), here I’m speaking about the power of talking to a trusted friend or loved one who is open to hearing you share.
By talking about your feelings, you can release their hold on you.
Each person on this list can help you gain both perspective and wisdom about what your future healing process holds Here I’m being very specific about the people who are typically great at helping because I have seen firsthand the mistakes people make when they try to rely on people for counsel who are not vested in your healing.
Unfortunately, many people think that the way to deal with their loneliness is to seek another relationship. When you enter into another relationship before allowing yourself to heal completely and become a whole person again, you run the risk of getting into a relationship with someone who is just like your ex or someone who is the exact opposite.
Your divorce will probably be one of the most intense emotional experiences you’ll ever face. I had all these powerful emotions hit me one after another, often in a confusing and frightening way. The world of divorce can feel like a tornado has come through your life and wiped away all that was familiar and safe.
I thought of it as being tied up, blind-folded and stuffed into the front seat of a runaway roller coaster.
Memories are incredibly powerful and by keeping your thoughts locked away, you don’t get a chance to have a cathartic release which is meaningful in gaining perspective. And yes, you will mourn the future you’ll never have together.
Let’s face it, sometimes, the feelings inside are not 100% real. But if those memories or thoughts are locked inside, the only dose of reality on them is colored by your feelings.
Below are the top two strategies that work best with my clients and I’m hoping you’ll find them helpful too.