Oxytocin is released when we orgasm, and it creates attachment. Do you want to be attached physically and emotionally to someone you barely know?
It also means you’ve looked at your part in what didn’t work.
You’re past blaming everything on your previous girlfriend, and you’re actually willing to own how you messed up, too. Well if you’re going to do online dating, then use GREAT pictures of yourself. Yes, I mean your full body, the way it looks right now!
If you’re meeting for the proverbial first date and it’s for coffee, find the most interesting, fun, and unique coffee shop in the city and meet there. Then repeat part of her story back and say something like “Tell me more…” And while she tells you these things, listen. Don’t say to yourself “It’ll be different with me…” because it won’t.
Or find out how she likes her coffee, pick it up, and meet her in a beautiful park, public garden, or on a hiking trail. Figure out how you can make her feel special without going overboard. While you’re first getting to know each other, listen intently. You can learn so much in the early dating days if you’ll just listen more and talk less.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to start dating and begin a relationship.
Here are my top 9 must-know rules for doing it the RIGHT way.
That means a really good headshot with you SMILING and your face really visible so I can see what you really look like. Here’s the point — if someone is going to reject you because of your body type, let her do it online before you even meet.
The worst feeling is to meet someone, have her look you up and down, and realize the date is over before it’s even begun. Secondly, go through your closet and put together a couple of great outfits.
That can involve joining meetup groups and then actually attending them. Things will pop up, from the local LGBT bar and Pride events, to LGBT community centers and meetup groups. If you need to, bring friends to push you past your shyness and be your Wing’Maam. She’ll tell you things like she’s a nut about being on time or that she never keeps her commitments and always runs late because she overbooks.
And remember this is when you can wear one of the great outfits you’ve already put together. Pay attention to the details of what she shares with you.
If you haven’t updated your style in five or six or even 20 years, get out and buy a couple new outfits. It’s a must — just like having the right pictures for online dating.