“Treat him or her to drinks another time, pick up the cab fare on your way to dinner together, or buy lunch,” Lewis suggests.
“Don’t hide who you are for the sake of a good date—if you’re vegan, be vegan.” Although it’s totally common (and fun!
) to banter over text, experts say that over-communicating is not so great early on.
“An upfront, respectful, honest text is all you need, and in this crazy world of ghosting, it’s incredibly well-received and respected,” she says.
Her suggestion is that you tell them you enjoyed meeting them and think they’re a catch, but that you simply didn’t feel a connection.
“You don’t want him or her to think you have nothing going on in your life, even if you can’t stop thinking about them,” Tufvesson advises.
On the flip side of all of this, Goldstein cautions that you shouldn’t judge the person you’re dating on their text etiquette or digital eptitude.
“Remember, you barely know this person,” Goldstein says, adding that excessive back-and-forth before a first date can lead to unrealistic expectations followed by a letdown once you meet in person.
Tufvesson and Lewis offer specific, date-by-date guidelines to further clarify this point.
“The important thing is to keep the conversation light and casual.