’ And for queer people specifically, the difference in dating people of different generations is huge, because we’ve had drastically different experiences of growing up.
If you’re in your 50s, you remember all your friends dying of AIDS.
Often younger people have less queer trauma.”And then you have to deal with all the haters.
For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.
We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.
But there’s also an undeniable eroticism to youth (duh), hence why the schoolgirl/boy gets its own chapter in the book of pervy cliches.
In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.
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When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me.
I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public. He also avoided hanging out with my friends—my theory was that he hated feeling like the old man at the party, while he argued that “going to Brooklyn is embarrassing.” And then there was the issue of energy levels: He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.
But generational differences are an easy scapegoat, especially when you’re not in the mood for introspection.
“Everyone thinks that some sort of power imbalance in a relationship is hot, even if they don’t admit it,” Chelsea said.