Reentering the dating world

When Becky was invited to lunch by a man she met at a bookstore, she was excited.

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Perhaps you share their concerns, as you’re also wondering how you can reenter the dating world after divorce — and do so according to God’s standards. Divorce is the death of the dreams you had when you committed yourself “for better or for worse.” As a Christian, you can’t simply separate from your spouse one day and hit the dating field the next.

And as with any loss, big or small, time is needed to grieve and to reassess who you are, where you’ve been and where God wants you to go.

Then one day, after coming home to an empty house for what feels like the millionth time, you come to one obvious conclusion. My heart starts racing and after the beep, I say the first thing that comes to mind.

Even though she has decided to wait a few years until her daughter is grown to reenter the dating scene, she’s confused about how to proceed.

Becky gently told her date that he needed to first pursue emotional and spiritual healing. But dating so soon will almost inevitably lead to heartache, since he’s neither emotionally nor legally available.

She suggested that he develop relationships with other Christian men for support, rather than seek out women for emotional comfort. And, until he heals, he won’t be able to relax and commit his entire heart to his new partner the way God intends.

She thought her lunch date had done the same, but she quickly discovered otherwise. During their lunch, his eyes filled with tears and anguish.

When Becky asked him how long he’d been divorced, he admitted that it wasn’t final yet, that he was living in the basement of the home that he and his wife shared, and that they’d only been separated for three weeks.

Some divorced church-goers try to convince themselves that God’s command to abstain from sex doesn’t apply to them — that it’s for the never-married crowd.

However, Scripture is clear that it doesn’t matter if someone has been married or not, sex with someone other than your spouse is still fornication (I Thessalonians 4:3, I Corinthians 6:9).

Unfortunately, Branden’s father abandoned him, so it’s understandable that he longs for a relationship with a father figure.

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