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The rest offered not only benefits, but many of the same benefits, over and over.This chapter is devoted to that encouraging repetition. The Positives What follows is a list of seven specific benefits that are repeatedly experienced in the secular/religious marriage.But I’m often curious about how he sees something differently, so I ask.” Nolan, an atheist married to a former Methodist, echoes Alise.

I was able to separate my true beliefs from just believing things because I grew up believing it.” Hope says much the same.

“Having my nice little Christian bubble popped has, at the end of the day, been a good thing.

Through exploring my husband’s [religious] belief system, as well as my own humanism, I’ve been able to let go of a lot of the resentment I was holding against religion.

I’ve reconciled with myself that people express abstract concepts through religion in good, helpful ways and in bad, harmful ways.

In the exclusive excerpt below, Mc Gowan talks about the benefits of those mixed-faith relationships: …

Despite the general pall that so many commentators cast over religiously mixed marriages of every kind, the picture of the secular/religious marriage is positive and encouraging. After all, we’ve just spent a great deal of time examining the many issues and tensions that can arise when one partner is religious and the other is not.

I’m more liberal now, and a lot of my friends act like I’m crazy, especially about abortion issues and gay rights.

But I think more or less it’s a shift for good.” Many nonreligious partners bring a painful history with religion into the relationship, including some deep resentments.

“My husband and I have had to become much more intentional about the ways that we relate to one another.

When you have the same belief, you assume a lot without asking.

“We both found that each other was not the ‘scary atheist’ and ‘crazy Christian’ that we were led to believe,” says Julie, a Lutheran married to an atheist.


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