Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. To send your questions directly to Joan, email Is casual sex a “thing” for our age group? I’m not ready for a steady dating relationship—and I’m certainly not looking for a husband—but I’m lonely for sex.I enjoy my vibrator, but I miss the feeling of skin on skin and the embrace of another body. Sometimes I wish I could just have a man in bed for an afternoon when I want him, then have him go away.Both were worried at first that if the sex didn’t work out, their friendship could be damaged, but they agreed that as long as they kept communicating honestly, they’d be able to preserve it. During that time they were friends first and foremost, and sexual partners as an added bonus.
She had a close friend who was also open to a sexual friendship without commitment, and some exploratory kissing showed them that they really were sexually attracted to each other.
They talked about their needs, desires, expectations and boundaries, being careful to speak honestly and non-judgmentally, and to really listen to each other.
I don’t judge her, but I don’t know if I could be comfortable with just sex, no relationship at all.
I was brought up to see sex and love as part of the same package, preferably pointing to marriage. My life is full of activities on my own and with my friends, and I don’t want to do anyone’s laundry or be expected to put dinner on the table every night.
You ask whether this kind of relationship is possible for women. Are you likely to get too emotionally involved, or is he? Emotions are tricky, and the best way to deal with whatever comes up is to communicate clearly before you get involved, during the involvement and afterwards if either of you needs to end it.
Here’s how it worked for a friend of mine who grieved deeply after the death of her husband before feeling she was ready for sex and warmth, but not a committed relationship.
Whatever works for two people mutually is much more important than any either-or rule.
And so, while you might not be comfortable with your friend’s sexual behavior, that is not the only option outside of love and marriage.
Or they may be in a relationship founded on ethical non-monogamy.